Biggest challenge of my life so far

[rpiereck]

Well, lately I have been exhausted. Used to be that I lost sleep during the week and then I' d catch up in the weekend. Well, I can't do that now that I have a two month old boy in the house. Sleep deprivation doesn't even cover it, it feels like I haven't slept in two months. So having a newborn child really drains all energy you got.

I do however love coming home to have some time playing the him, it's such a wonderful thing getting to raise this new human, getting to learn his language, his moods, his ways. Right now he's developing great, and at two months old he already has words for when he's happy, angry or annoyed, and he is slowly developing a sign language. We already understand the hand movements he uses to tell us he wants a bottle of milk. Amazing doesn't even cover it. He also does baby push ups, rolls left and right, an can also follow you with his eyes. A huge development in only two months.

The other challenge I've been having is professional. I am now a platoon sergeant in the Army, and I have 23 soldiers under me. On a regular duty day I'll have my 23 guys doing 10-18 different missions, and it's nearly impossible to keep track of them at all times, but that's part of the expectations of my job. I have highly motivated guys who require nothing but wide guidance on what to do. I also have some zero motivation numb nuts that take constant supervision or either they disappear or sit down and do nothing. At best it's irritating to baby seat a 23 year old man. Then I have the first sergeant breathing on my neck for everything these guys do. If one of their room is dirty it's my fault. If someone is late or not at the right place it's my fault. It's a very stressful and frustrating job, but there are upsides too, as I have some guys who are doing a great job, and those I congratulate. It's also good for my career and if I'm successful a good boost for a future promotion.

The last two months have been hell for me. I have ordered parts for my SAABs and haven't installed them. The 9-5 needs an oil change but I nave no energy to do it during the week. The 900 needs engine mounts and a ball joint. The 9-5 is filthy inside now, I have trash, dirt and empty plastic bottles behind the driver's seat. I really want to clean it, but when I come home I want to see my boy, eat, shower and sleep.

The good thing is this situation won't last forever. Soon Arthur will learn to sleep, and soon I'll get into the rhythm of being a platoon sergeant. Just next week I am kicking one soldier out of the army for being lazy, late, and unmotivated. A few more like this and I'll get rid of the chaff...

[nordwulf]

That definitely sounds like a very busy life. I don't think I would have it in my to take care of a young child. I already had a difficult time to arrange my life around having dogs. And I like to stay up late at times, sleep in on the weekends, go on a trip when I feel like it and so on. But I guess it is different when you actually have a child and arrange your life around that.

And you still find time to visit SaabWorld. Now that's dedication as well.

[SaabKen]

That's a very full plate you have. I feel for you.

Hang in there, remember what's important (baby, wife, self) and get as much SLEEP as you can (I know it's easier said than done).

If sleep deprivation is one of the prisoner-torture tools used, then you know the gadawful effects it has on one's ability to function, to think, rationalize, be emotionally balanced, etc. Take as many catnaps as you can (when safe to do so). I recall some of the darkest days my wife and I had as brand new parents were those when we had little or no sleep.

Arrange for child-minding if you can.

Delegate tasks.

Reach out to your friends, neighbours, family (if around locally). People can surprise you how much they'd be willing to help. Whether it's helping you babysit for a couple hours on a weekend so you (and/or wife) can catch a nap, drop off a lasagna for ya, help out with housework/cleaning/shopping ..... etc. Raising a child really does take a village. Our western society especially lost that fine point, with our strong individualistic, DIY culture.

All the best to ya. Remember, this too shall pass .......

[Hirsch]

I feel for you. I understand exactly what you mean.

People will tell you that you'll lose sleep as a new parent, but no amount of talking can prepare you for the actual challenge of learning how to function on less sleep.

Good luck!

[rpiereck]

Well, not dead yet! So, things are looking better here now, and we're getting into the swing of things. The baby is healthy, growing and developing as he should. Both the wife and I are adjusting to the baby's schedule. I am now sleeping in our rather comfortable living room sofa during the week, that way I can be rested for work. At work I have been utilizing my junior Sergeants too, and have been delegating a lot of what I have to do down to them. Last month was harder because I only had two of them on any given day (the third one was always out on some duty), but now I have four, which makes things easier. I tell them what needs to be done, they dissiminate it to the soldiers below them. Easier that way.

The car situation has improved a bit too, small things like getting the trash out when at the gas station, and yesterday I managed to wash and vacuum the 9-5 for the first time in a month! The 900 has been getting more attention as I have been driving it to work (better gas mileage and all), and gets some attention during lunch. I have also found a local mechanic that is trustworthy and has good prices, he replaced both left side ball joints on the C900 for 42 Euro, and an output seal on the 9-5 for 25 Euro! I have also changed the oil on both cars now, and I am finishing painting those Ronal rims I got a few months back. This weekend I am being given one day off on my own by my wife and I will be going to the SAAB meeting at the Bavarian forest on Saturday. It's a two hour ride each way, the organizer says they should have about 55-60 SAABs, from vintage 50s cars to new ones. Pictures will come!

I am also working on getting laser surgery for my eyes (PRK, not Lasik), and had to drive to the big Army hospital, Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, a few days ago. Normally it's a three hour drive, and on the way there, early in the morning, the trip was fine. I drove the C900 and cruised at 120 km/h all the way, nice ride with the sun rising behind me. The return trip, however, was crazy, as there were massive rains, with traffic slowing down to 40 km/h with no visibility in some sections, two accidents and the monster construction traffic jam on the Main River bridge... the three hour ride turned into a five and a half hour ordeal, and as I was approaching home I was very tired. I pulled off the Autobahn on a rural road, took a nap for a bit, and woke up with the most dramatic sunset behind me, the sun setting right underneath some angry clouds. The results are below. Cheers!

[LEP3]

You got a full plate, I won't go into my past 15 yrs, but there were some extremely difficult times. One foot in front of the every day, just keep going. Sleep is key, no sleep, the dominoes start to fall.

[ChuckC]

Hey man.... Keep it up. Your soldiers will appreciate your hard work and dedication. The Army is ever evolving and gone are the days of dropping a dumb ass soldier every time you see him because truthfully, he really needed that. You will succeed and before you know it, you will be looking at retirement right around the corner as I am. Keep your head up!

[rpiereck]

Yeah, times are getting better here. Someone who outranks me has arrived at my unit, which means I am no longer the platoon sergeant. I got my evaluation as a platoon sergeant and it was a succesful one, so I am good there. Now it's time for someone else to pick up that headache and deal with every soldier's little and big problems. I am now back to being a squad leader, which puts me in charge of only a quarter of the soldiers I had before, so I am still dealing with all those issues, but on a smaller magnitude.

Arthur, my son, is still growing healthy and happy, and now at four months is developing pretty well. He is starting to play with toys, is pretty vocal and it's finally starting to get the concept of going to sleep when it is sleeping time.

Life is getting into a good rhythm and things are going well. The challenges are still all there for me to face, but they have either gotten slightly smaller or they are starting to harmonize with my day to day life.

[ChuckC]

Its always nice to be able to "pass the buck" LOL!!

[rpiereck]

Oh, and I am getting a bit more sleep now