Fireside Tales

[DavidMorgan]

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

The little old man looked at the preacher & calmly said, 'Well . . . she's there.'

[DavidMorgan]

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside & said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
'But she's a great cook & really good with the kids.'

[Shazam]

A cowboy is riding across the plains of the old west, when he is captured by Indians. The tribe puts him on trial for crimes against the Indian Nation, and he is found guilty. "You have been sentenced to death," said the Chief, "but, as is our custom, you have three wishes to make as your last requests."

The cowboy thought for a minute and said, "Well, for my first wish, I'll need my horse." "Give him his horse," said the Chief. The cowboy whispered something into the horses ear, and the horse took off like a shot across the prairie. Twenty minutes later, the horse returned with a beautiful blonde woman on it's back. The cowboy looked at this, shrugged his shoulders, and helped the young lady off the horse. He then took her into the woods and had his way with her.

"Second wish," said the Chief. "I'll need my horse again," said the cowboy. "Give him his horse," said the Chief. Once again, the cowboy whispered into the horse's ear, and once again the horse rode off over the prairie. Thirty minutes later, the horse returned with a beautiful red-head on it's back. The cowboy looked up and shrugged, helped the young lady off the horse, and went into the woods; same as before.

"This is your last wish," said the Chief, " make it a good one." "I'll need my horse again." "Give him his horse," said the Chief. The cowboy grabbed each side of the horse's head, and put his face right up to the horse's.

"I SAID POSSE!!!!!!!"

[THEOLDMAN]

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

The little old man looked at the preacher & calmly said, 'Well . . . she's there.'

I thought it was going to be a continuing story...everyone just keeps adding to it.

[DavidMorgan]

I thought it was going to be a continuing story...everyone just keeps adding to it.

Oh no ... promise me that No "Count to a Million"

[THEOLDMAN]

Oh no ... promise me that No "Count to a Million"

Well we could just do it the way we do on S2ki...only go to 2000 posts and then close the thread. Heheheh!

[DavidMorgan]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their
tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look
towards sky, what you see? '

'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'





'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord
is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?'
















'You dumber than buffalo shit. It means someone stole the tent.'